Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize