Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
