you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
