worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
