Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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