My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
