ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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