dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
