So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
