Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
