one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
