I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
