Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
