So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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