those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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