i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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