Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
