i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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