Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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