I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
COCAINE IS GR8
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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