She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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