Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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