yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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