??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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