just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
