we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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