You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
