Please, let me fuck your mom
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize