You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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