What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
