i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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