my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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