I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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