problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
