Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
