if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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