a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
