Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
