I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
