I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
