I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
