i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
