I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
