ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
