I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
