Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
