We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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