If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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