Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
