Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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