I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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