two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
