well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
