I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
