I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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