Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
