my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
