I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
