I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
