I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
