jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize