brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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